Senate votes to convict Trump, 70-44

Humor by Jay Douglas

U.S. Capitol

After an extended overnigbt vote count conducted in Atlanta, Detroit, Milwaukee, and Philadelphia due to the pandemic, the 100-member U.S. Senate has voted to convict former President Donald Trump of inciting insurrection, 70-44. 67 votes were required for conviction. The late Senator John McCain cast the decisive 67th vote by mail from Arizona. At least five other Republicans, all of whom have 2024 Presidential race ambitions, voted to convict.

A spokesman for Dominion Voting Systems reported that all of their equipment, including the Internet connections, worked perfectly, and that there was no evidence of vote fraud.

Trump refused to concede his conviction in an interview on One America News Network. Fox News' Decision Desk called the vote for conviction 3 hours before it was conducted. CNN's Jim Acosta called Trump "a big ninny" for his refusal to concede. Reached for comment, Trump lashed out at Acosta, saying, “I know you are; what am I?”

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell released a 46-hour documentary video arguing that the impeachment trial vote was stolen. He questioned the spikes of conviction votes in the late-night vote counts in Democrat-run cities, noting that the vote count total exceeded the number of Senators in the Senate. A spokesman for Twitter reported that Lindell has been placed on Double Secret Probation, while the aerial photo of the MyPillow factory in Minnesota has been erased from Google Maps.

© 2024 - J. Douglas,